Am I the only person who sometimes feels stressed by text messages that are not time sensitive? At the risk of presenting myself as a carmudgeon, I’m sharing my struggle to highlight a challenge of self-care. The crux of my problem: I cannot both (1) respond to all non-urgent text messages and (2) take care of my needs.
I love texting when I’m in a good space to receive it and respond. Often, I am not. I miss texts that come in while I’m caring for my 98-year-old mother or helping with the grandkids. Texts awaken me during my afternoon rest (note: my cell is always on for my mother) or interrupt my writing flow or family time.
If I see a text come in while I’m occupied, it’s too easy for me to misread the messages because I’m not fully focused. Or I respond too quickly and come off as abrupt. Then I feel bad. I don’t want to neglect or offend anyone.
Steps that help:
Asking close family and friends to please use email for non-urgent messages. I’m good about responding as soon as I see them because I am in a place—literally and figuratively—to read and process the message, and to respond thoughtfully.
Forwarding my texts to my email inbox to respond when I’m available.
Letting it go if I learn that I unwittingly misread or totally missed a text.
If I have trouble letting it go and continue to feel guilty or upset, I say to myself:
Drawing boundaries and taking care of my needs foster Healthy Survivorship.
Anyone who cares about me wants me to take care of me, even if what I need is uncomfortable or inconvenient for them.
Healthy Survivors Practice Self-Care
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