If a loved one avoids doctor visits to avoid bad news, what can you do?
Your loved one’s decision is logical. As explained in the satiric novel House of God, “If you don’t take a temperature you can’t find a fever.” In the short run, the plan works: (s)he successfully avoids bad news. The problem, of course, is that the decision is irrational. If there is something awful going on there IS bad news. They just don’t know it yet.
If your loved one is avoiding a doctor visit to avoid bad news, one approach is for you to…
Validate challenges
Making a doctor appointment IS hard to do. One reason is that taking action makes the possibility of getting bad news feel more real.
State facts
Going to the doctor does not make the possibility of getting bad news greater…the possibility just feels more real.
Avoiding doctor visits feels good because it feeds the comforting illusion that you definitely don’t have a problem.
Deciding to avoid the doctor determines what you know about your condition—it does not determine what your condition is.
Avoiding doctor visits means choosing to risk missing a window of opportunity—a decision you may come to regret.
Encourage
You can handle any increased stress that may follow a decision to go to the doctor, especially because it will be temporary.
You take control by going to the doctor.
You help everyone who loves you by finding out what is—and is not—going on.
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